In search of our missing "K"

Our son Kaden was born on January 17th at 8:01 pm. He weighed 9 pounds 3 ounces and was 22 inches long. He is the sweetest (not so) little guy!

Even though he was a surprise to most of you, we have known about him since mid October. But our journey to becoming Kaden's parents started a long time ago.

In October 2004 (our first year of marriage) we visited my sister and her family in Washington State. I am very close to my nieces and nephews and I was very sad when it was time to leave them. While sitting at the airport Ken decided to cheer me up by talking about baby names. We tossed a few around before Ken suggested we name all of our kids with "K" names. We both laughed at this idea for a few minutes and then decided to at least come up with some K names. Katie May and Kylie Ryan were easy to come up with but boy names we had a harder time with. By the time we boarded our plane the decision was made, we would be the K. A.... family!

Over the years we have had two birth mom's that we were talking with that wanted to name the child they were planning on placing. That was one thing that we weren't willing to give up. We felt that if we were going to raise the child we should be able to name them. Also, we felt strongly about them being K names. We have had a few people ask us if it was really that big of a deal. Why not just let them name the baby and who cares if it was with a K or not, just as long as we got the baby in the end. First off, it wasn't about getting any baby, we wanted OUR baby. The one that was meant to join our family. Also, the K theme names turned into something more than being a catchy and funny thing to do. It became inspired to us and it was a part of our family identity.

I am so glad we stayed strong on the name issue because 9 years after making that decision a birth mom was drawn to us because of all our K names. That birth mom's name is Cassie. She comes from a large family with all of the kids names starting with the letter C. She loved that we had a theme too. Isn't it amazing that 9 years before our son was born Heavenly Father was preparing our family for him through a simple and silly idea. I am so thankful that Ken listened to the spirit while sitting in that busy airport terminal.

There have been so many coincidences between us and Kadne's birth mom. It was like God was putting great big neon signs in our lives. It brought us all a lot of peace about the situation. Let me tell you about more of them and our journey.

In January, 2013 Ken and I decided we needed to take a break from the adoption pursuit so we pulled our profile down from LDS Family Services' website. It was a nice break that lasted for several months. Then in the middle of August I had the feeling that we needed to put our adoption profile back online and that it had to be done by October 1st. I talked to Ken about this and we agreed that after we moved we would start the updating process. Thankfully there wasn't a ton we needed to do so we were back online a week or so before October 1st.

Meanwhile, Cassie went into the LDS Family Services offices a few weeks before that and then started looking at profiles of families a week or so after the 1st. God wanted to make sure that our profile would be up and waiting for Cassie!

On October 12, 2013, we went to The Olive Garden to celebrate Ken and I's birthday. That restaurant is special to us because that is where we had our first date and where we went to celebrate our milestones with Katie's adoption. As Ken was putting Katie in her car seat I checked my email. I was so excited to see we had an email from a potential birth mom. I told Ken, "You know how we always come to Olive Garden to celebrate good adoption new, like when Kirsty (Katie's birth mom) picked us, after we finalized Katie's adoption in court and after we were sealed in the temple...well you can add being contacted by a new birth mom to that list!" (yes, I actually said all that to him) We were both really excited about Cassie's email, we felt really good about her. That night we wrote back to her and by the next day, (my birthday) she wrote us back and asked us if we would consider her and her baby for our family! It was the best birthday present ever!

As we continued to get to know each other over the next couple of months here are more things we found we had in common. Her birthday is the same day as our wedding anniversary. Her brother served a mission with one of the young men from our ward. Her sister placed a baby for adoption, Kirsty's sister also place a child for adoption. Her name is Cassie; our dog's name is Kassie.

Cassie had told us that when she was considering keeping the baby, her and her sister picked out the name Kayden. We thought the name was cute and it started with a K so we were excited about that but we weren't convinced that was his name. A few days later I was talking to my sister and I told her about them picking Kayden. My sister got quiet for a minute and then said, "Shut up! That is what Daylyn (her daughter) has been calling him!) Apparently she didn't like referring to him as baby boy so she picked out a K name that she liked and just started referring to him as Kaiden. I thought that was pretty bold of her to be naming our son, lol. It was pretty crazy though that out of all the boy names that start with K they both picked the same one (just spelled differently). And then here's the kicker. When we met RJ (the birth father) at the hospital he told us that when he first found out he was going to have a son he picked out the name (you guessed it) Kayden. We couldn't believe that three different families were preparing to call him the same thing. (just different spelling) We are pretty sure that this little boy wanted to be called Kaden and he made sure it happened!

In November we drove an hour to the town that Cassie lives in and had lunch with her and her Mom. We all felt very comfortable and like we had met before. It was a great experience!

I found it funny that we were all wearing grey.

The next time we saw Cassie was when she was in labor. The poor girl was in labor for about 20 hours before Kaden finally decided to join us. We were blessed to be in the room when he was born. (Ken was behind a curtain) Unfortunately, Kaden was born with a fever and had to go to the NICU. This meant that no one would be allowed to hold him, let alone see him for 18 hours! Needless to say we were super excited to get to the hospital the next day to finally meet our son.

He had an IV in his head to receive antibiotics

Cassie was leaving the hospital that day so she signed papers allowing us to take over his medical decisions which also allowed us to take him home from the hospital when the time came.

That time came on the the 19th. Our caseworker met us at the hospital to sign the adoption paperwork. (Thanks to our sweet friend Audrey who came to watch Katie for us and to document the day.) After the adoption paperwork came the hospital paperwork. We have never taken a baby home from the hospital before so this was a whole new experience to us. It was fun!

The best part was introducing Katie to Kaden. She was so excited to meet her little brother!

Before we left the hospital we asked if the birth parents wanted to meet us there to spend time with Kaden before we took him home. Cassie had already meet Kaden and spent some time with him but this was the birth father's first time to meet him.

Katie patiently waiting

or at least trying to be patient :)

It was such a wonderful experience and we were so excited to leave the hospital as a family of four!

We came home to these fun surprises!

I am going to back up now and tell you about two miracles. First was with RJ. He was not supportive of the adoption and when he was at the hospital for the birth he was not very happy. We had been praying that he would soften his heart towards the adoption and a few days before I had a feeling that if he just meet us, his opinion would change. It took him a couple of hours to agree to meet us. Normally in these situations I would be very nervous but I wasn't. I had sent out a text earlier that day asking those who knew about the adoption to pray to soften his heart. The spirit descended on the hospital and into everyone's hearts. We ended up taking with RJ for an hour or so before his sister joined us. We spent at least another hour with the two of them. The conversation went really well. They didn't understand what an open adoption was and once we explained it to them and that they can still be a part of Kaden's life they seemed to soften. It was really good to get to know them a little bit! What was amazing was that they went from not supporting the adoption to then defeneding the adoption to another sister when she came to the hospital a few hours later. It was awesome to sit there and listen to them tell the other sister all the reasons why the adoption was the best option for all involved. Ken and I just sat there silently. We witnessed a miracle right before our eyes!

The next miracle was a sweet reminder to us that Heavenly Father is always aware of us. As most of you reading this know, in 2012 we had a failed placement of a little boy. That little boy was born in January as well. But what is truly amazing is the day we found out that the mother was keeping him and that we left Houston without that baby was January 17. Exactly two years after we lost the son we thought we were going to have, the son we were always supposed to have was born. What a tender blessing from Heavenly Father.

When Katie was born and I looked into her eyes, I had an overwhelming feeling that we knew each other. I didn't have that feeling with the baby we didn't adopt two years ago and with Kaden I didn't have that feeling either. Instead I felt complete peace when I held him for the first time. I knew that he was my son and I was his mother. I had no doubt about that. I knew that the adoption would go through. I have complete faith that Heavenly Father builds families in his time and in his way. That all parents end up with the children they are supposed to raise. We were meant for each other!

I love my family so much and I am very grateful for how we were joined together. All I ever wanted to be was a mother and I am so blessed to be these precious children's Mommy. They are amazing!