Every year we attend a local church pageant at Christmas time, which tells the story of Jesus and His birth through the resurrection. It is a spectacular event, with live animals and hundreds of cast members and realistic costumes. The magi enter the huge auditorium on llamas, from the rear, descending the steps in pomp and majesty. Roman soldiers look huge and menacing in their costumes and makeup.
Of all the years we have attended, one stands out indelibly in my heart. It was the year we took our then 3-year-old-and-loves-Jesus granddaughter, Bailey. Shea was mesmerized throughout the entire play, not just watching, but involved as if she were a player.
She watched as Joseph and Mary travel to the inn and was thrilled when she saw the baby Jesus in His mother’s arms. When Jesus on a young donkey, descended the steps from the back of the auditorium depicting His triumphal entry into Jerusalem, Bailey was ecstatic. As he neared our aisle, Bailey began jumping up and down, screaming, “Jesus, Jesus! There’s Jesus!” Not just saying the words, but exclaiming them with every fiber of her being.
She alternated between screaming His name and hugging us. “It’s Jesus, Look!” I thought she might actually pass out. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at Jesus through the eyes of a child in love with Him, seeing Him for the first time. How like the blind beggar, screaming out in reckless abandon. “Jesus, Jesus!” afraid he might miss Him, not caring what others thought.
This was so much fun. Then came the arrest scene. On stage the soldiers shoved and slapped Jesus as they moved Him from the Garden to Pilate. Bailey responded as if she were in the crowd of women, with terror and anger. “Stop it!” she screamed. “Bad soldiers, stop it!” As I watched her reaction, I wished we had talked to her before the play. “Bailey, it’s OK. They are just pretending.” “They are hurting Jesus! Stop it!” she repeated. She stood in her seat reacting to each and every move.
People around us at first smiled at her reaction, thinking “how cute.” Then they quit smiling and began watching her, watch Him. In a most powerful scene, the soldiers lead Jesus carrying the cross down the steps of the auditorium from the back. They were yelling, whipping and cursing at Jesus, who was bloodied and beaten. Bailey was now hysterical. “Stop it! Soldiers! Stop it!” she screamed.
She must have been wondering why all these people did nothing. She then began to cry instead of scream. “Jesus, Oh, Jesus.” People all around us began to weep as we all watched this devoted little disciple see HER Jesus beaten and killed as those first century disciples had. Going back and forth between her mother’s lap and mine for comfort, she was distraught. I kept saying, “Bailey, it’s OK. Jesus is going to be OK. They are pretending to be soldiers.” She looked at me like I was crazy. IN my lap, we talked through the cross and burial.
“Watch Bailey, watch for Jesus.” The tomb began to tremble and lightening flashed as the stone rolled away. A super bowl touchdown cheer couldn’t come close to matching this little one’s reaction to the resurrection. “Jesus! He’s OK! Mommy, its Jesus!” I prayed that she wasn’t going to be traumatized by this event, but that she would remember it. I shall never forget it. I shall never forget seeing Jesus suffering, crucifixion and resurrection through the eyes of an innocent child.
Following the pageant the actors assembled in the foyer to be greeted by the audience. As we passed by some of the soldiers, Bailey screamed out, “Bad soldier! Don’t you hurt Jesus!” The actor who portrayed Jesus was some distance away surrounded by well wishers and friends. Bailey broke away from us and ran toward him, wrapping herself around his legs, holding on for dear life. He hugged her and said, “Jesus loves you.” He patted her to go away. She wouldn’t let go. She kept clinging to him, laughing and calling his name. She wasn’t about to let go of HER Jesus.
I think God in heaven stopped that day and made all the angels watch Bailey. “Now look there! You see what I meant when I said, of such is the kingdom of heaven.” Bailey’s reaction should be our reaction every day. When we think of Him, who He is, what He did for us, and what He offers us, we have to say, how can we do anything less than worship Him?
Story from Army Sgt. Ronald E Locklear
I know that if I can help my children to have a love like this for Jesus Christ then I have done my job as their parent. - Kim
I wanted to have a wreath on my front door this year and I wanted to make one instead of buying one. I loved this one from ldscraftproject.com so I thought I would try to make it. Here is the one I made:
What do you think? I originally planned on this wreath being for the fall/Thanksgiving season and had little berries and pumpkins to attach to it but I didn't get it done until this weekend so I skipped the fall extras and will use it for the whole holiday season. I am really pleased with how it turned out!
The other day, my friend Alicia came over with her girls and while they played we made a bow holder. She picked out all the ribbons and did such a great job putting it all together. I love it!
We were picked by an awesome birth mom a few weeks ago. She is due in 2 months with a BOY!!! We are beyond excited to be getting a boy, especially Ken, lol. We are equally excited to have the birth mom and her little girl join our extended family!!! We already feel like old friends!
This past weekend we went on a birthday vacation to Sea World - San Antonio. It was a great trip. Katie loved seeing all the animals especially Shamu. Here are the highlights from the trip:
On the drive out there we asked Katie if she wanted to eat at McDonald's and this was her response, "McDonald's, fries, ice cream!" She then pretended to chew and said, ummm yummy!"
We love to eat at Cracker Barrel and so we did every morning. It is Katie's favorite place for pancakes. She calls it Cracka Bear, lol.
When we went into the penguin exhibit Katie shouted, "HAPPY FEET!" Another funny thing from the penguins was that it was their mating season and well, there was a pair doing just that. A lady who spotted them said, "Surely they're not!?!" Ken's response, "Surely they are." lol
We stayed at the park until Katie was ready for a nap. But by the time we ate a little snack and got back to the hotel to take a nap Katie was beyond tired and could not settle down to sleep. So we got back up and decided to head downtown to try out a Mexican restaurant that was recommend to us by Ken's co-worker. Of course Katie fell asleep within five minutes of driving, lol.
The restaurant was a total bust. We waited over an hour to be seated. (Katie was asleep the whole time thankfully.) Once we got seated we were given chips but no salsa. The waiter said maybe 10 words to us the whole night and barely ever came back to our table to check in on us. We were seated outside and there was a stage located right next to us with some guy blaring very bad music into the next state! We all put rolled up napkins into our ears so it wouldn't hurt as bad. (See the picture of Katie in her stroller with her sweatshirt around her head.) The food was just ok, definitely not what we had expected considering the long wait and recommendation. The only good thing from that experience was the fried ice cream.
We watched the Shamu show three times during our visit. 2 regular day shows (one each morning) and 1 special Halloween themed show at night. The night show was the best because they played fast paced fun music and it was much faster paced. Katie loved it! She was clapped along with everyone and couldn't keep her eyes off the show. That was Ken and I's favorite memory from this trip...seeing how much Katie was enjoying herself.
Right now, Sea World has their fright nights going on (hence the night Shamu show) and we went through the scary fun house. It was pretty fun and not too scary...we even brought Katie in with us since she likes being scared. She held on to me extremely tight but enjoyed herself.
We took turns riding the roller coaster which had a HUGE drop at the very beginning. It was so big that it took your breath away. It was a great ride!
Our favorite show was Azul, it was awesome! It combined dolphins, whales, birds and acrobatic performers. That is the show at the end of the video. We were able to see this show twice. We weren't planning on it the second time around but when we walked by the arena Katie begged, "SHOW?". How could we tell her no, lol.
We really enjoyed seeing the dolphins up close and seeing all the tricks they can do. They are amazing!
Katie picked out a cute pink baseball hat with a beluga whale on it and I couldn't resit buying her a stuffed Shamu.
On the drive home Katie sang for over an hour to herself. It was so sweet! She even made up a song about the trip. The words we understood were, Happy Feet, Seal Word, TODAY. So cute!!!!
We had a great time experiencing Sea World through Katie's eyes. There were a lot of laughs, splashes and yummy popcorn. It was a much needed family vacation! We now have season passes and we are looking forward to going back next year.
Why are we soooo excited you may ask??? Because our profile is finally up on our agency's website. Wooohoooo!!!! I even did a happy dance when we found out it was up. Click here to view it!
We are so excited for our new adoption journey! I (Kim) have already found myself day dreaming about how this new journey will play out. I think about how the birth mom will find out about us...through our profile, our blog, through a friend/family member or from our pass along cards. What she and the birth father will be like, where they will live, how far along she will be, will the baby be a girl or a boy or maybe even twins! What kind of adoption will they want...open, semi-open, closed or somewhere in between all of those. Will we get to be there for the birth? Oh, so many things to think and dream about!!!!
The time period between being approved for adoption and being picked by a birth family is normally called the "waiting period" but I have also heard it called the "finding process". We like that term better because it applies action. We are not sitting back and hoping for a birth family to find us instead we are taking an active approach. So with all that said.....LET THE FINDING PROCESS BEGIN!!!!
Yesterday I (Kim) had the opportunity to speak about overcoming challenges during the adult session of stake conference. Let me say, I AM NOT a big fan of public speaking and I was (as always) very nervous leading up to my talk. However to my surprise the day of conference I wasn't too nervous. Heavenly Father really blessed me with peace that day. Don't get me wrong, I still bounced my foot around like crazy while giving the talk but my whole body wasn't shaking, which is what normally happens. (I bet I am very entertaining to watch from behind, lol.)
In my talk I shared how hard our struggle with our infertility has been and also how hard it was to wait to be picked by a birth mom. One thing that really helped us through, especially for myself was to talk to others who had been through similar trails. It was really sad and also comforting at the same time to know that we were not alone in this trail.
While on this subject I want to share a few thoughts. I will get back to my talk in a minute.
For myself, the part that was hardest for me (and still is) is the fact that we can't, as husband and wife build our family ourselves. And I am not talking about having our own biological children. I am talking about we aren't able to say, ok we are ready to add another child to our family and then in nine months a baby is here. Instead, we have to wait and rely on others to make that happen for us. It is a very humbling experience! One that in the end, we are very thankful that we went through because we have the most AMAZING daughter!
Sure, there are still times when I see a pregnant lady and I wish I could have that experience. That I could know what it feels like to have a little life growing inside of me. It is not the lack of shared DNA with my child that I miss out on, it is being there from the start. But I have to say, it is an indescribable feeling to know that someone choseyou to raise the child that they carried for nine months, that is a part of them and that they love more then anything in this word!
Ok, back to my talk now. It is often said that when you give a talk it is more for your benefit then for those you are talking to. I definitely know what I was supposed to learn from this subject. Here is the part of my talk where I go over what I learned:
Something else that Elder Johnson said that really struck a cord in me was when he talked about a nine year old boy who had a rare bone cancer so he had to endure a major surgery and months of chemotherapy to treat it. When the boy asked his doctor if he would be the same after it was all over the doctor responded, “No, you won’t be the same. You will be so much stronger. You will be awesome!”
The reason this stood out for me is because throughout the past 7 years of dealing with infertility I feel like something inside of me had died. I could not really ever articulate what exactly I meant by that but I just knew that I wasn’t the same. Hearing that story it made things clear to me. Something didn’t die, I just changed. It wasn’t a bad change, I just became a little different from who I used to be. Now, I guess I can say I became stronger…maybe even a little awesome.
What I do know is that I can look back at everything that I have gone through, big and small, and be at peace with challenges I have faced because I know I am who I am today because of what I have been through in my life. And well, I kinda like who I turned out to be.
I also want to share something I heard while watching the coverage of the 10 year anniversary of the attacks on 9/11.
There was a pear tree that survived those attacks and it became a symbol of hope, it is called the survivor tree. When they lifted the tree out of all the rubble they had no idea if it would survive or not. But they replanted it and cared for it and then had to wait until the following season to see if it would continue to grow. Sure enough it did! Today it is one of the many trees planted along the memorial site at ground zero. When they interviewed one of the man who had cared for the tree he said something that will always stay with me. He said something like, If you look at the tree from one side, you cannot tell that it has been through something traumatic. It is full, beautiful and thriving. But if you look at the other side, you can see all the scars and marks from that fateful day 10 years ago. That tree represents all those affected by 9/11. On the outside we are thriving, growing and moving on but on the inside we will always carry the marks from what we have experienced.
I loved how true his statement was and how it could be applied to any challenges we have been through. I am sure that I carry around marks from the different challenges in my life but I am still growing and thriving. It is a very positive thing if you can learn to appreciate your challenges. I know that without "the mark" of infertility I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter.
More from my talk on this subject:
Have you ever noticed that after going through an especially difficult trail that a blessing normally follows?
Elder Johnson continues, “A pattern in the scriptures and in life shows that many times the darkest, most dangerous tests immediately precede remarkable events and tremendous growth. “After much tribulation come the blessings.” The Children of Israel were trapped against the Red Sea before it was parted. Nephi faced danger, anger from his brothers, and multiple failures before he was able to procure the brass plates. Joseph Smith was overcome by an evil power so strong that it seemed he was doomed to utter destruction. When he was almost ready to sink into despair, he exerted himself to call upon God, and at that very moment he was visited by the Father and the Son. Often investigators face opposition and tribulation as they near baptism. Mothers know that the challenges of labor precede the miracle of birth. Time after time we see marvelous blessings on the heels of great trials.”
“However, in the midst of problems, it is nearly impossible to see that the coming blessings far outweigh the pain, humiliation, or heartbreak we may be experiencing at the time.”
He also said, “I doubt many of us would label our afflictions light. Yet in comparison to the blessings and growth we ultimately receive, both in this life and in eternity, our afflictions truly are light.” Close quote.
Ken and I waited about a year and a half before we were picked by a birth mom to adopt her child and then another 6 months before Katie was actually born. Being patient and having to wait to become parents was extremely hard and painful but having Katie far out weighs anything that we ever went through. Certainly we can all agree that she is the great blessing that was worth going through all that pain for.
I know that Ken would agree with me when I say that we would happily go through that pain again to be able to add to our eternal family. In fact, we are doing just that. Any day now we will be approved to adopt again through LDS Family Services and so the waiting to be picked will start all over again. Certainly we know that this will be another trail for us to endure. It probably will be a little similar to our previous one but with different aspects and challenges we are sure. We know that there are more lessons for us to learn and to grow from. We just hope the outcome of this challenge will be just as cute, smart and funny as the first one, but with just a little less spunk!
Again quoting from Elder Johnson’s talk, “Sometimes we want to have growth without challenges and to develop strength without any struggle. But growth cannot come by taking the easy way.”
“Not one of the trails and tribulations we face is beyond our limits, because we have access to help from the Lord. We can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us.” Close quote.
One of my favorite scriptures is Doctrine and Covenants section 121 verse 7 it reads, “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment.” I have this scripture posted on my fridge because it gives me such peace to know that there is an end to our suffering.
I already talked about what I learned from giving this talk but I want to talk about now is how this talk touched others. This was the first time that I truly felt I delivered the message that Heavenly Father wanted me to give. I was very hesitate to share another challenge that I have been through in my life. It is something that I don't have a problem sharing but I had never done so in such a public setting and I was very nervous about it. But even with my hesitation I knew that I should share it. So I did and after the session was over I found out why. I had several people come up to me and share that they too had endured what I had endured. One older woman told me, that she too had my same trail but she had only been able to share it with her husband. And while listening to my talk she came to understand why she still did some of the things she did. I also had others who shared their infertility and adoption journeys with me. It was an extremely humbling experience! I always want to do a good job speaking especially for those who asked me to speak. I am always worried that I won't cover what they wanted covered or that I won't get across the message they wanted to here so I was truly touched when a member of the stake presidency told me that he really enjoyed my talk, that it was exactly what they wanted, in fact, it had exceeded their expectations. It was a huge testimony to me that if you sincerely pray about what to talk about and to be open to the Holy Ghost for guidance you will be able to say what Heavenly Father wants you to say.
I hope that doesn't sound conceded because I don't want it to come across that way. I am just very moved and humbled by what I experienced last night. I have never had an experience like that before and it left me speechless! (which is a hard feat, lol.) The whole adult session was amazing! All of the speakers words reached right into my soul. I loved being able to sit next to the Temple President. Just the week before, I had been at the temple particapation in some family sealings that the President preformed so it was great to see him again. It brought back those beautiful feelings that I had experienced that day at the temple. I also sat next to the Stake Relief Society President who is a wonderful woman. There is just something so special about her!
Today was also a beautiful session. My favorite speakers were Sister Evans and Brother Watson. Sister Evans is (I believe) around 16 or 17 and she amazed me with her ability to stand up there in front of the whole stake and just talk. She didn't read from a paper (like I have to do) she just looked straight out into the crowd and told us about her conversion to the church. She is one incredible young lady. Towards the end Brother Watson spoke and he also shared his conversion story. He did a great job as well. He soon will be heading to Africa to serve a two year service mission for our church and I know he will do great work while there. His spirit and love for the church is contagious. The youth of our church continue to amaze me! They are so strong in their testimonies and their ability to share it with others. The future of this great and true church is safe in their hands!
In closing this blog post I want to share with you that I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and that he loves everyone of his children. And I know that Jesus Christ is my brother and the Savior of this earth.
The choir along with our young men and young women sang this song. It was very touching.
We just finished up our home visit with our case worker. Yeah!!! It went really well. The best news he gave us was that we should be approved and have our profile online within a few days!!!! Woohoo!!!! We will post the link on here once we go "live".
We have started the process for our 2nd adoption!!! We are really excited to see what this journey has in store for us. So far, the paperwork is going a lot faster since we had a lot from Katie’s adoption. Most of it has been turned in now, we just have Ken’s medical form and the photo collage left. Yea! Also, all of our agency’s online forms have been filled out as well so the next step is an in home visit with our caseworker. Hopefully we can get that scheduled soon! (They are really hard to get a hold of, lol.)
In the meantime I have been working hard to get this blog up and running. It has been a lot of fun writing everything down, going through our pictures and figuring out the ins and outs of blogger. I had no idea all the cool things you could do on here. Like adding pages (the tabs at top)…who knew? lol. I love it!
If you click on the Welcome to Our Blog tab you will see why Ken and I created this blog. We are hoping our friends and family will pass this blog on to their family and friends and so on. Katie’s birth mum (K) found out about us because my best friend told someone about us. That person happened to be K’s sister-in-law. You never know who might know somebody. Adoptions seem to go more smoothly and a little quicker if friends and family get involved in the finding process. So thank you in advance! ;)
Well that is all for now. Check back to see what progress has been made in our application! Oh, and just because we aren’t “official” yet please don’t let that stop you from passing on our information.